Celebrity tax dodger, venture capitalist and self-promoter Bono has another one of those unhelpful ideas to promote a better world. I wish there would be a way of making him shut up for good …
(New York, NY) Look out Tomb Raider, World Of Warcraft and Grand Theft Auto, there’s a new king in the video game jungle. It’s called UN-Save The World. It’s the brainchild of U2 front man Bono, and instead of killing and raping everything in sight, players of this game try to solve the major problems of the planet like genocide, global warming and AIDS.
“UN-Save The World will get young people involved,” said Bono. “We’ve sold over 700,000 copies in two weeks. Thanks to me, this game is going to save the world, yeah!”
Is that possible?
“Not a chance. This game, with its bangin’ graphics and U2 score, is just too damn good to do any good,” said Jack McGuire, an Under-Secretary-General at the United Nations. “Thanks to Bono, the kids who play UN-Save The World will never stop playing and never leave their house.”
“I’m one of those kids, now,” said Kevin McGuire, Jack McGuire’s 17 year-old son. “I tried to help out in real life. I went to a meeting, set up by my dad, about combating infant mortality rates in third world countries. But it was annoying. Everyone there just gabbed about their own ideas and nothing got done. Then, I went home, turned on UN-Save The World and dropped the infant mortality rates to zero in twenty minutes, while rocking out to Zooropa.”
Kevin is not alone. The Lost News talked to scores of other kids who felt similar.
“Tell me, why should I go anywhere, when I can battle global warming from the comfort of my own couch?” asked Kevin’s buddy Gary Weber. “Hey, can you hand me that electric blanket, the AC’s making my feet cold.”
Bono refused to see fault for creating a rockin’ game. “You want the young people to play. You want them to feel like they can do something, like they can save the world, yeah!”
“Well I’m done saving the world,” added Kevin McGuire. “I mean it. The world is saved. AIDS, drug trafficking, hunger, genocide even lawn-jockey poaching, they are all gone. Now I’m moving on to kill and rape some shit in the World Of Warcraft.”
Source: The Lost News